Sunday, February 22, 2009

Knitting & the Oscars

This is going to be a long one, until I get bored with the Oscars and turn them off.
Not nearly enough knitwear on the red carpet. Seriously. Not even a lovely faroese shawl. That must be fixed. The red carpet isn't quite so boring this year. So many people have stylists, they don't generally make disastrous fashion decisions, but there are a few this year. Jessica Biel has something odd happening at the front of her dress, and Beyonce looks like crap. Hideous gold lame foilage on black with a mermaid bottom. Ick. Even her curves can't carry it off. And I can't look too long at Mickey Rourke. I'll have nightmares. Why is Phillip Seymour Hoffman wearing a watch cap? Is he planning on knocking over a liquor store after the ceremony?
Ugh, Penelope Cruz won supporting actress. Can't stand her. And her dress is hideous. Should have been Viola Davis or Traji P. Henderson. Ew, WTF is Sophia Loren wearing?? I suppose when you're a timeless sex symbol (which I have never understood, despite my father trying over and over again to explain) you can wear whatever you want, even if it does appear to have peach kleenex hanging off it everywhere.
Steve Martin and Tina Fey just made a great poke at scienfreakytology. Ha ha ha. Now he just told her not to fall in love with him. But who could blame her? I love intelligent men. The guy who wrote Slumdog Millionare won for adapted screenplay. He reminds me of Simon Schama, another geeky smart guy I love.
Oh boy, Jennifer Aniston! Mini van majority everywhere swoon over her boring hair and dress. But damn, Jack Black makes me laugh. Oy, her French is terrible. How hard is it to pronounce 'La maison en petits cubes?' Oops, spoke too soon. Jack's is worse.
Sarah Jessica Parker's hair is good. Brunette instead of blonde with dark Madonna roots. Daniel Craig. 'Nuf said.
I hate it when 2 people win and the 1st person takes up all the speech time. Selfish bastards.
They went on and on about how these are the new & improved Oscars. So far, except for the 5 previous nominees presenting supporting actress, it's the same old boring crap.
My puppy is trying to chew the pompoms off my socks. How bad is it that I'm more entertained by that than by the Oscars?
I don't get the fuss over Robert Pattinson. He's got really bad hair & eyebrows. And his nose is almost as squishy as Miley Cyrus. Of course, I'm not exactly his target audience, being over 16 and all.
Missed a whole section while making muffins for breakfast for this week. Oh darn.
Damn, no lemons. Can't make a lemon drop martini without lemons.
Seriously, what's happening with Jessica Biel's dress? Did the designer have a couple of metres of fabric left and think, let's just make a waterfall over her boobs?
Seth Rogen & James Franco. I actually loved Pineapple Express. Love those 2. Franco couldn't pronounce 'Spielzeugland' and Rogen laughed at him. Tee hee. Rogen pronounced it pretty well, actually.
Oh no. Please don't be an Abba thing. Nope. But Hugh, gorgeous though he is, has nothing on Fred Astaire. And Beyonce is beyond tedious. Can she not do something different once in a while? Oh boy now she's murdering Etta James again. ICK ABBA!!! Ah, yes, the gratiutous musical number. Boring, boring, boring. They have exactly 3 minutes and I'm turning off. It's 9:57. I don't even know who those people singing with them were. Oh, high school musical and mamma mia children. That would explain it.
Sad again - best part of the broadcast so far? Commercial for a new Clive Owen movie. Yep. You read that right.
Three minutes are up. I'm done. I'll read the highlights tomorrow.

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